Opinion | Dating apps can help make society more diverse

July 18, 2024

Celeb Gist

Imagine you are an average American on the dating market today. What do you think is your chance of entering a relationship with someone from a different race or ethnicity?

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America has become increasingly diverse, and interracial and interethnic couples have become a more common sight.

Now consider online dating, which gives people the opportunity to meet complete strangers.

What’s the chance of entering a relationship with someone of a different race or ethnicity as an average American online?

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I started thinking about this question as a result of my own dating experiences. My boyfriend and I first met on a dating app. I’m Asian, and he is White. Before using dating apps, I had exclusively dated guys of my own background and didn’t give it too much thought. I wondered how much my past choice in partners was shaped by my overwhelmingly Asian social milieu.

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Looking back, it seems to me that if I hadn’t used dating apps, the chances of me meeting my partner would have been vanishingly small. Like many others, I, too, have been frustrated with the experience of online dating. Multiple surveys show that most people dating online do not like it. But there is an obvious upside: Online dating took me out of my comfort zone and nudged me to be more open-minded.

Studies suggest the effect is real. Couples that first meet online are more likely to be interracial and interethnic than those who first meet offline, according to one 2020 study that analyzed data on more than 3,000 U.S. couples from 2009 to 2017.

In another study, from 2017, researchers used real-world data to show that evidence suggests online dating contributes to the rapid diversification of society by creating ties between people that otherwise would not have existed. Controlling for racial diversity, they found that places in the United States with better internet access had higher rates of interracial marriage. This suggests, according to the authors, that online dating is at least partially responsible for the uptick of interracial marriages.

The graphic shows that interracial marriage in the United States has been one the rise.

A steady rise of intermarriage

in the United States

Share of those intermarried, 1990-2021

Newlyweds:

22% in 2021

All married couples:

14% in 2021

Source: Pew Research Center analysis of 1990 and 2000 decennial census

and 2008 to 2021 American Community Survey (IPUMS)

A steady rise of intermarriage

in the United States

Share of those who are intermarried, 1990-2021

Newlyweds:

22% in 2021

All married couples:

14% in 2021

Source: Pew Research Center analysis of 1990 and 2000 decennial census and 2008 to 2021

American Community Survey (IPUMS)

A steady rise of intermarriage in the United States

Share of those who are intermarried, 1990-2021

Newlyweds:

22% in 2021

All married couples:

14% in 2021

Pew Research Center analysis of 1990 and 2000 decennial census and 2008 to 2021

American Community Survey (IPUMS)

Still, anyone can go on a dating app and actively seek out potential partners of the same race. A review of data provided to me by Coffee Meets Bagel — a dating app for people seeking serious relationships — shows that across all races and ethnicities, people are more likely to “like” profiles of potential partners of their own ethnic and racial backgrounds. Online dating only opens the door. People need to walk through it.

Can dating online change people’s minds? When the Supreme Court ruled interracial marriage legal across the United States in 1967, public approval of marriages between White and Black Americans was below 20 percent.

What’s the percentage of Americans who express approval for marriage between Black and White people in 2021?

The graphic shows the approval rate of interracial marriage for Americans.

More Americans accept

interracial marriage

Share of Americans who approve of interracial

marriages between Black and White people

First online

dating site

appeared in

mid-1990s.

Source: Gallup

More Americans accept

interracial marriage

Share of Americans who approve of

interracial marriages between Black and White people

First online dating

site appeared

in mid-1990s.

Source: Gallup

More Americans accept interracial marriage

Share of Americans who approve of interracial marriages between Black and White people

First online dating

site appeared in mid-1990s.

Source: Gallup

Support for interracial marriage jumped sharply in the middle of the 1990s with the appearance of the first online dating sites, and rose to 94 percent in 2021.

Support was most pronounced among the young. Ninety-eight percent of Americans between ages 18 and 29 approved of interracial marriage, as compared to 91 percent of people 50 or older. Not coincidentally, younger people also have more experience dating online.

In fact, the way people date has changed dramatically in the United States since the internet appeared.

In 1995, 2% of the couples first met their partners online. Can you guess how many couples first met each other online in 2017?

The graphic shows that online dating has become the prevalent way of dating today.

How couples met in 1995 vs. 2017

In a bar or restaurant

In college

In schools

Through

neighbors

Through work

Through

family

Through friends

Heterosexual couples only. Percentages exceed 100 as

respondents could choose multiple ways of meeting

their partners.

Source: “Disintermediating Your Friends.”

Michael J. Rosenfeld, Reuben J. Thomas and Sonia Hausen

How couples met in 1995 vs. 2017

In a bar or restaurant

In college

In schools

Through

neighbors

Through work

Through family

Through friends

Heterosexual couples only. Percentages exceed 100 as survey respondents

could choose multiple ways of meeting their partners.

Source: “Disintermediating Your Friends.” Michael J. Rosenfeld,

Reuben J. Thomas and Sonia Hausen

How couples met in 1995 vs. 2017

In a bar or restaurant

In college

In primary/ secondary schools

Through neighbors

Through work

Through family

Through friends

Heterosexual couples only. Percentages exceed 100 as survey respondents could choose multiple ways

of meeting their partners.

Source: “Disintermediating Your Friends.” Michael J. Rosenfeld, Reuben J. Thomas and Sonia Hausen

Even though we would like to think that romantic relationships ought to organically grow out of existing social networks, for an increasing share of Americans today, that path is just not available any more. Online dating has become less of a choice and more of a necessity. As we navigate the apps’ inevitable frustrations, one upside is that they make it possible for us to fall in love with people we would not have met otherwise.

That’s not just good for us, but arguably very good for society as a whole.

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